Beach reading season is here! Some might try to convince you that “beach reads” are limited to frothy romances, cozy mysteries, twisty domestic thrillers, and maybe a juicy celebrity memoir or two. I would argue that any book can be a beach read if you dare to dream.
When it comes to reading on the beach, the biggest obstacle is often interruptions. Family members who don’t honor your reading time as sacred. Tipsy vacationers who want to make a friend. And the worst offenders: creepy men who try to twist whatever book you’re reading into a pickup line.
That’s why I’d argue that the ideal beach read is a completely bonkers romance novel with a cover so shocking that no one will dare interrupt you. These five unhinged romance books make for perfect vacation reading because they’re highly entertaining and just weird enough to scare off strangers. A bookish introvert’s delight!
There’s Something Fishy About My Boyfriend by Gloria Duke
I’ve got three words for you, and if they’re not enough to sell you on this book, I don’t know what is: Jersey Shore Merman. Hannah’s predictable life at her family’s seaside B&B is disrupted when the wildly sexy Xander washes ashore. How long can she keep her handsome fish-out-of-water a secret? This paranormal romance is the perfect bubbly read for the beach. Even better, that cover screams, “I’d rather find a date among the sea creatures than with any of these skeezy land men.”
Save a Horse, Ride a Cow Man by Emily Antoinette
This hilarious cowboy-meets-monster romance is sure to get you some curious looks during your day on the beach. Belle’s life is falling apart when she learns her estranged grandmother died and left her half of a ranch. After packing up her life and moving across the country, Belle finds out who owns the other half of the ranch: a grumpy minotaur in a cowboy hat who calls her Darlin’. Trade in your boring little cowboy and upgrade to a cow man, ladies.
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Dearly Departed by Chip Pons (G.P. Putnam’s Sons, June 16)
Picture it: You’re on a beach, surrounded by people in sun hats and swimsuits, laughing and sipping their tropical cocktails, reading their cheerful, pastel-colored books. Then there’s you in all black, reading a gay romance novel about the God of the Underworld. Okay, so, the outfit isn’t required, but this grimly delightful book is still a great, unexpected beach read. When Hades is banished from hell to run a funeral parlor on Earth, the last thing he expects is to fall for the optimistic florist next door. It puts a marvelously macabre spin on the “grumpy/sunshine” trope.
Kiss, Marry, Kill by Cara Tanamachi (Forever, July 7)
Nothing says “red flag” like reading a romance book with a knife and the threat of murder right on the cover. This cheeky thriller/romance stars Ella, a true crime podcaster who finds herself the target of a notorious serial killer — who she heavily suspects is one of the three guys she’s dating. It’s a page-turning beach read that will also make any guy think twice before interrupting your reading time.
I Punched an Alien and Now We’re in Couples Therapy by Kimberly Lemming (Berkley, August 18)
The cover of this delightfully chaotic sci-fi rom-com by the inimitable Kimberly Lemming raises a lot of questions. Why did she fight an alien? Does whatever planet they’re on have therapists? And what does a triceratops have to do with anything? Luckily, the violence right there in the title is a strong indicator that no one should interrupt your reading unless they, like the alien, would like a punch in the face. Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait until mid-August to enjoy this one on the beach. But in the meantime, you can start with the first book in the series, I Got Abducted by Aliens and Now I’m Trapped in a Rom-Com.
We hope this list helped you stock up on some perfectly unhinged beach reads for your summer vacation! You might also enjoy:
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